This past 5 months have been some very hard months here in the Barker house. As most of you know we have been trying to adopt. We were match in late February with an amazing mother. "J" and I were a perfect match, we have the same likes. She is a great and wonderful woman and has been through a lot. We spent 2 1/2 months building a great relationship, we laughed and cried together. One week before baby "M" was born, his beautiful mother couldn't see life with out him there every day. This was a very hard phone call to receive. There was a lot of mix emotions, sad, anger, and love. We loved this baby boy and his mother so much and wanted the best for them. I still think the hardest part was the girls crying for baby "M". On April 30th a beautiful little boy was born, another hard day. The next few weeks were just a blur, full of tears. I would like to say after awhile we moved on, but to this day I still get tears in my eyes when I think of "J" and baby "M". Even more now that I have found out that baby M's father has past away. Life went on and we enjoyed our family as it was. We had some great times with extended family in Reno. Right after coming home from my little brothers farewell, we received a call from the adoption company. They had another little boy for us in Al. That day we had call with a sweet mother, "V". She said that she knew that adoption was what she needed to do for her little baby. We had a few conversations and even worked together to find the perfect name for this little guy, Reylan. The kids were exited, but the whole time Janika kept saying, what if "V" changes her mind. I just had to reminder that it was V's right to keep the baby or to give us the baby. We started to build a love for V and baby R. Then V stopped communicating with us and the case worker. Letters have been sent with no replies. Baby R is due in 6 days, Oct 1st. He could be born and in the arms of his sweet mother or he could be still waiting to come at the right moment. We will never know at this point. We wish that we could talk to V one last time. Not to change her mind but to let her know the love we have for her and baby R. We since been put back on the list for adoption, the top. The adoption company said that they have had families go through a failed adoption, but 2. That would be our luck. I know that when we have our little boy in our arms, it's meant to be. Heavenly Father has a plan for our family and we know that we are to adopt a little boy. I know that things happen for a reason. People are placed in our lives also for a reason. I love J and V and their little babies, they will always have a special place in my heart. Adoption has been one of the hardest things I have done. So many ups and downs. I look forward to meeting the brave birthmother that trusts us to raise her little boy.
